I thought I had been going through a sort of death and rebirth over the past few years.  Going back through this blog its  apparent the struggle of birth with all its discomfort, and like a baby, I just don’t want to look back upon it anymore.  I have some ideas for the future. Ive thought a lot about just writing snippets on gratitude, or short notes on moving forward, something positive or rewarding. Just doesn’t feel right in this venue. Too many memories on this blog of how I got here.

So…

I’m mulling over the idea of a new blog to commemorate not just having been reborn, but more importantly that I’m living my new life and about to  take off and soar.

I have a new dog, a standard chocolate poodle named Persia.  She is a delightful upbeat addition to my life.  I’m already learning so much from her.  She’s the best company ever!

I’m very close to owning my canoe, only a few more payments, and Persia and I will be out on the water this summer.  Finally!  Somewhere back in this blog I discuss what being out on water would mean to me.  Well I’m almost there(!), and I have the greatest companion ever  in Persia to share it with.

A beautiful Spanish mustang mare is coming to live with me in a few months, Her name is MP Cinnamon Spice.

She is a bay daughter of Ghost Warrior,  and out of Sequoya’s Creek Shawnee.  I wont be owning Cinnamon, at least not up front. I will be leasing her for two years with a goal of training her and getting a foal from her.  With the decision to lease Cinnamon, my life feels alive and full again.

Some crucial realizations have come to me the past few months.  For one, I am unable to walk away from my horse passion. Its just what makes me tick.  My desires have not changed.  Ive tried to open my heart, mind and soul to other possibilities, but they wain and pale to the machine that drives my love of horses.  Among those realizations I’ve been having are, I want a place with pasture, an age old dream, and  that I love genetics.  I love at least the dream of breeding horses. I’m going to breed I think. Maybe not on any real kind of scale, but I have ideas and direction again. Also my eyes have been opened to coverups, lies and unspoken suspicions.  I wont be fooled so easily again.  Mistakes made were made at a price I refuse to pay again. I will learn from them and turn them into positive guidelines for a successful future.

Its scary to try this again.  But I’m up for it!

So I’ll leave The Pony Expression for now as it is. Wow, that conjured up some emotion.

See ya around.  Hopefully you come along on my next journey and share in the exhilaration of it with me. You’ll have to come along if you want to know what the rest of the story is…. 

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Thankful Thursday May 5, 2011
…posted one day early…

PASSIONATA DI CATALANO

Life sure is a roller coaster, and throws all kinds of wrenches at you.  Just when I’m certain I have it all figured out and have gained some sense of balance and direction in my life… wham things turn upside down again and I’m back clawing my way back up the mountainside reaching for that stable platform.  It seems as though we spend all of our time balancing that platform upon the narrowest peak doing our best to keep it level and our lives on track and comfortable. Realization is that the platform we all cling to is not so stable at all. For me it’s always been trying to improve on what was provided for me.  I always do it too.  I always try to take what was provided and take it to a place that is just out of reach.  Maybe it’s the explorer in me, the challenger, or researcher.  But it always blows up in my face, if not now, then later, but at some point I’ve got it coming.  This has been my life’s lesson over and over again, and you’d think that at some point I’d heed its message.

So if you have read the last post you’ll see that I was on to a dream, I sought it out and was going for it, creating the path I would walk down. Well shortly after posting it, the horse I was creating my dreams around died. The other horse I had hoped to move forward with was made unavailable to me and I was lost again. Not one day later though an old opportunity to travel down a specific path opened up to me and I chose to take it and yet not a day later than that I had already moved this opportunity toward that unachievable goal. Damn!  It took Heather to open my eyes and show me what I was doing… again.  In a few short sentences, she brought daylight to the path that has been provided to me and brought light to what I was doing…. again, reminding me how it all could end up if I kept this up.  So my job now is to keep it simple and finally heed that lesson. Find satisfaction in the simple pleasure of this gift.

It’s a funny thing, since early childhood I’ve been drawn to blue animals. Blue cats, blue dogs, blue horses, blue birds, blue fish.  I don’t want a cat… but guess what… meet Gunner.

He is a six year old grossly overweight life long pet of a friend who moved to Thailand. I could not see this guy just tossed aside so I offered to help find him a forever home. They called him “Crazy Legs” because he would attack your legs.  Wow were they not kidding… this guy is treacherous.  I had cuts and scratches all over me from him attacking me as I’d walk by. There was no petting him without being in danger.  Once he attacked me from across the room and left marks all over my chest.  I was a little nervous about sleeping in the first days after he moved in with me, that he would attack my face at night. I mean not your usual kitty play. we’re talking dangerous injury kind of kill pray kind of thing. Me being the pray. I think this cat weighed close to 30 lbs, and  has a big cat (like tiger sized) mind.  I quickly realized that he was not going to find a home.  I’m faced with putting him down or putting him in a no kill shelter who will keep him caged for life, or biting the bullet so to speak and keeping him myself. I’ve renamed him Gunner for his gun metal color and have put him on a diet where he has lost maybe 4 or 5 lbs over the month and still needing to lose about 8 to 10 more.  He may put me in a position to have to find another home as I’m not suppose to have a cat where I live.  I’m going to ask if I can pay a hefty deposit, non refundable, with written promise of carpet cleaning etc when I move out. Gunner is not a dirty cat, he is very quiet, doesn’t get into anything, and is trying so hard to learn how to be gentle and loving.  He wants to be secure so badly. I have to try.

So at least at the moment, I have a blue ‘”fat” murderous cat named Gunner, and, if you have been paying attention… I now also have a blue horse.

(Yes I know, she looks mouse brown here, but she is what is called a grulla known for their blue-ish tint with dark head, legs, mane and tail, and stripes also on their legs and stripe down the back.  Once shed  out she will be a deep slate smokey color with a blue-ish tint.)

From my favorite bloodlines in the Spanish Mustang breed, I’ve named her Passionata di Catalano after my passions for this breed, for horses in general, and given her my maiden name Catalano which means from Catalan Spain where our Sicilian family originated many many moons ago during the Catalan/Iberian reign. A tiny little thing, she will be perfect for my family and inexpensive to feed and maintain. She was given to me from Laura Louise Jayne  Mueller of Spanish Horse Conservatory, the lady I once bought my first Spanish Mustang from. Now to keep on the path of the opportunity that has been afforded me. To intertwine her into my family as a member, train and show her in exhibitions, and just enjoy a horse (One Horse) for the sake of a horse and for no other reason no matter how grand or potentially beneficial.  Creator, please give me the strength and wisdom to stay on this path, and to keep from trying to turn it into something more than it is fated to be.

Aho

So, the plan is to locate a place to bring Passionata home to this June in Silverton for the summer then to just begin the life long process of becoming friends with her.  To some time by next summer buy a saddle something like this Portuguese Vaquero saddle for her.

With matching bridle and equipment. while in the meantime start her training for classical style work that will prepare her for Garrocha.

I’d knot her tail up like you see here and braid her mane up and go to exhibitions… I think Passionata would be very pretty and well suited for this kind of work, as well as trail riding and family enjoyment.

So unless the creator changes things up on me once again this is where I sit. A blue cat named Gunner, more than likely a new place to live by next summer, a blue horse named Passionata di Catalano and a dream of trail riding,  along with Garrocha exhibitions and family fun.

Wish me luck!

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I’m working on my next life… Ive been reborn a few times in my life and have recently been reborn again. Although, this time unlike before I had no direction while facing new obstacles… mostly obstacles from within my own head.

So with the help of this old village I live in the good people who surround me, my daughter (It’s amazing the power family has in ones life!) and friends I’m back on track, or rather back in the saddle again, having come to a place where I am seeing my future more clearly and how I may want to go about it, I’m excited to begin.

So lets visit a few cool things that are in the works.

1) Jobs, besides massage and website design, and of course working for the C-Store occasionally,  I’m also working for Montanya Rum, and for The Emporium that is sometimes called the Christmas Store located in Old Town, Silverton. I am looking to apply for a B & B full time position too. If I get it my life will be turned around 100 fold in terms of finances. Come winter I’ll drop the C-Store and Emporium and just work the B & B, massage and Montanya Rum and the occasional website.. What this means is that my bills will be disappearing at an astonishing rate. It means I can do more with my horses too which brings me to the next cool thing on the list.

2) I’m back… my horse dreams are alive again. They are different than they use to be, but they are alive and well.

I have a dream… it’s to have all my debts paid off, and to put my horses through Haute Ecole training. To exhibition them and promote my breed. I have chosen two horses, and I have chosen one trainer. I have no idea how I will afford it all… but I’m going for it!

The trainer:

Mario Contreras – check him out!  His horses show such showmanship, energy and poise and if you cruise Mario’s videos and photos you’ll see why as Mario himself is a superb showman exuding nobility with elegance and energy that he imparts onto his steeds.  It’s a dream to see an SM perform at such levels with such qualities.  It’s a dream…  not sure it will happen, but it’s a dream I’m going to chase.

With…

Shades Of Gray

She is by Chief Blue Feather (Majuba x Tiger Lily by Injun) and out of Ghost of the Milky Way (Chief Yellow Fox x Grey Ghost by Majuba and out of a Ka-Maw-I daughter).

Shades is laterally gaited and until today I have yet to see a lateral horse perform any of high school level dressage.  But look at this!

From an early masters book.

Mario and I discussed briefly that the balance for training a lateral horse will be very different from that of a diagonal horse thus his techniques will be challenged, but we both know the result will be breathtaking!!  He would require that at some point that I take lessons on Shades and be willing to perform in his productions in costume.

On top of all that, if the B & B comes through for me this guy may figure into my plans as well.  I’ll know some time this week.

Cheyenne Gold

He is a Choctaw Three (Choctaw ll x Tiger Lily by Injun) son out of Yellow Rose of Texas (Dakotah Blue x Anything by Yellow Fox).  I have to say that this boy possesses one of the best front ends I’ve seen from Choctaw Three.  I don’t believe he is gaited, yet  he carries gait in his pedigree top and bottom and some day he may make one hell of a stallion!  Not to mention that this elegant boy although only 18 months old in this photo could make one very exquisite Haute Ecole horse down the road.

Dreams… bring them on… I’m in the mood to chase them!

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I’ve been amiss in my Thankful Thursday posts.  With building my Rum Felicity and Catt Paw Massage websites there has been plenty of  online creative processing.  That and along with working on a web presence for my friend, Simrat’s online art home, and facebook posts and meanderings  I’ve been pretty busy.

I need though to acknowledge some wonderful things that are happening in my life.  So here goes.

1) I feel so fortunate to be employed by Montanya Distillers.

They are great people with a driving force to succeed.  What other kind of people would I want to align myself with.  If you apply yourself you can’t fail.  Apply myself  is what I am doing and I feel like my employers recognize this and appreciate it.  Yet I have had a couple set backs thanks to San Juan Mountain weather, having to cancel rum tastings in Grand Junction and Montrose last Friday.  Heather and I are suppose to be taking off today to get those tastings done.  I wake up this morning look outside and  argh… more snow!  The Mountains look socked in. I hope its just a dusting and we can make this trip as I don’t want to cancel on these folks again.  This is the first time I’ve been bummed by the snow.  I’m thinking that no more trips planned around the state until after April. Do all my driving this summer and settle back into phone calls this winter.  With that said, I am going back to Arizona first week in April to do tastings there which brings me to my second item to be thankful for.

2) My car is a good little car, but its not a long distance car by any means.  Its wonderful in the conditions I live in here in Silverton,  yet it struggles a bit out on a road.  I worry that if I take it too far from home, I’ll get stuck somewhere and have to call my son-in-law to come get me.  So, I have this Montanya trip planned for April to Arizona.  Its a good gig, worth the effort in the potential income it could generate.  So what did my company do?  They are renting a car for me to take on this trip so that I can get our product established in Arizona.  I know that other companies do this sort of thing… it’s just never been done for me before.  I am so thankful!!  I want this job to blossom for all concerned, I’m loyal and dedicated to the company and it feels good that they recognize something in me and are willing to take a risk on me.   Well its not really a risk… but some folks would see it that way.

This brings me to the third item.

3) Risk.

I’ve been looking at horses for a while now – trying to decide whether I want one or not and if I do, which kind.  Well I settled on the fact that I do want another horse. Its really hard though, because I am in love with a certain kind of horse a certain quality and personality. I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Asad, Kindlewood, and Madrid.  Elegant athletic, comical and loving companions.  These horses knew how to be friends.  They also had a certain beauty and grace that made the heart and soul sing when you gazed upon them.  So as I studied different breeds and individuals I became aware that what I really wanted was something similar to them in type and being.  As much as I admired other horses and types of horses, my heart would start when I came across certain ones.  In the process I tried to buy three different horses and either was turned down or became apprehensive and backed out.  I have a real fear of facing the pain that disease can cause for my horse after the devastating effect Kindlewood’s suffering and death had on me.  I could not bring her son home, because I was too afraid, and he reminded me of horses of the past.  A risk I just could not make myself face. I needed to move forward not backward.  I just could not look upon Pro everyday and not see him , but rather see his mother and her death,  and the loss of his grand sire and grand dam.  Not fare to him and too painful for me.  Heather said it yesterday… Mom, you had to sever yourself from them in order to move forward with a horse.  How profound of her!

So move forward I have…  and this is where I have landed.

Just a gorgeous 3 year old filly named Shades of Gray. A registered Spanish Mustang, gaited and appy.  Definitely my type of elegance and fluidity. I have never liked gray horses.  But I have fallen in love with this girl.  She is appy but she is turning gray which means that she will lose her spots someday and become a white horse.  I see fine China!!

Isn’t Shade one of the most feminine and sweet girls you’ve ever laid eyes on.  She’s a girly girl and I love that about her! I am back to being excited about the future and making plans for how we will live together. What kind of gear we’ll use together and what kind of education we’ll share together.  New journeys… new adventures.

Shade will remain in South Dakota at Don and Terri Harwood’s until June 2012 then she’ll make her journey to Silverton to play with me in the mountains for the summer, learn about human idiosyncrasies like climbing up on her back and such nonsense.  Then she will spend her first Colorado winter on pasture near Silverton.  I’m thinking of bringing her in off pasture in February of each year and boarding her for three or four months each spring where I can take lessons and brush up on my dressage training as someday this is what I want to do with her.  Haute Ecole…

 

Dreams… I want to thank Don and Terri Harwood of Blue Moon Spanish Mustangs for making this new dream possible. I’m so full of gratitude.

4) I want to thank everyone who has traveled this journey with me and have remained good freinds and valuable support.  Those who felt the impact of my experiences and shared their warmth and kindness as we waded through the muck together.  YOU all mean the world to me!

Thank you!

 

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December 13, 2011

For Thankful Thursday I am exploring  my future and how excited I am at coming to the realizations below. This post may take me a couple of days to put together as it may become fairly detailed. It’s about dreams or maybe a dream. It’s about passion. In my minds eye I see dreams as passions. Some are fulfilled and many if not most are never experienced. For one reason or another we skip this dream or passion for some other usually more practical approach to life. You know what I mean, that thing you long for but is out there in the distance seemingly unattainable. The thing that you would have to change your life for, make sacrifices for, maybe even change a piece of yourself for. That thing.

This post is about “that thing“.

I’m making a list of the passions in life that I find intriguing beginning with my life long lived passion breeding horses and ending in my lesser passion, travel, as in seeing the world through the worlds eyes. In between, there may be developing my artistic nature, losing myself in the creation process. Or, building a straw bale home just to my personal specifications. I’ve always enjoyed the idea of creating an aquatic farm. If you have read this blog for any length of time you’ll know that I love heritage seeds and species, sustainability and locavore… oh where I could go with that!

I found a blog recently while following my passion for horse breeding that brought me to a complete stand still. My mouth a gap, barely breathing, this blog’s author was writing about her passion, her dream the passion/dream which she was living to its fullest possibilities. I’m saying to myself as I peruse the pages, why isn’t that me? That’s when I woke up to the fact that what she was doing with her life was very similar to what I want to do with mine. The blog: Journal of Ravenseyrie celebrates a lifestyle that I am drawn strongly to. Set on an Island in Canada…

(Ravenseyrie)

(who wouldn’t want to live on an island) raising a rare “type” of horse while living a predominantly sustainable life?

(Grooming on the beach of Ravenseyrie)

Let’s step back into that last sentence.  The folks living on this island on this particular ranch raise a “type” of horse, not a “breed”.

(Horses of Ravenseyrie)

That is where it came to me, the realization that I to am more inclined toward a type of horse than a breed per say,  and then my  hearts passion ran away with me. That and I tend to spend hours almost daily studying the Iberian horse of Old and have for most of the past 20 years.  I think that qualifies as a bonafide passion.

Okay I’ve got that down now. Its a hard pill to swallow after years of being indoctrinated by family, friends, colleagues, mentors that one must be loyal to a breed.  Purity is utmost important and anything less than pure was not of any value.  Well I tend to go through a metamorphosis every now and again and seem to have gone through another one of late.  Things are going to get sticky here so you purists hang on to your horses.

As breeds go and this is just my opinion based on years of observation and first hand working with many different breeds.  Most breeds are bred for a “type”  within that type are harbored certain “traits”  that lend themselves to the “function” of that specific “type”.  Two perfect breeds to represent what I mean are the Arab and the Quarter Horse.  First the Arab – a breed that lends itself to molding for different functions without losing the breeds type.  The breeder enjoys the freedom to work towards a specific discipline such as english park seat (extreme trot and energy),

(The Park Horse)

english pleasure, (relaxed hack style trot), sport (based on dressage and jumping), western pleasure (low head profile, round and based on trail riding), cutting (deep rollback and quick exchanges of movement to head off calves),

(The Cutting Arab)

racing,

(The Racing Arab)

or the breeder may breed for extreme conformation traits just to name a few.

(The Halter Horse or Conformation Arab)

All without losing the “type” of the breed. This is because the breed type breeds true.  I believe this is because the breed as we call it is really just a type that has been manipulated and if allowed to breed on its own without the aid of mans hand would revert back to its original form which is not too far from its current form.  The Quarter Horse (QH) is another breed who’s type traits may be molded toward certain disciplines.  English pleasure, western pleasure, racing, sport, dressage, cutting, roping, (bulldog vs racing traits), etc.  The QH however will revert back to very different animal if allowed to breed on its own, and this is because it is made up of different types that may or may not derive from an original type of horse.  The original type or types will be dominant over time if left to their own devices.

Either way if you take these two breeds or now we are referring to two different type of horses you may change specific anatomical alignments to achieve the discipline capable horse of your choice. This may be done in one to two generations.  As a breeder it makes sense to choose from one of these two easily molded breeds.  From a geneticist point of view though working with a more primitive type of horse may be more challenging and more or less rewarding.

This brings me back to my passion and the dream I have held so tightly to for so much of my life.  To recapture the original type traits  that made horses of most any origin sound, durable, resilient and capable.  Also though I have always since childhood been drawn to the reachier more elegant traits naturally within the various original types.  This also falls over into dogs (I prefer sight hounds), also cattle (Long Horns), or you name it.  Elegance has always driven my breeding plans.

Over the past few years I have been studying the hip composition of the Old Iberian horse.  This done in reference to what traits makes the Spanish type of horse Spanish.  I began this journey because  I was involved with a “breed” who suggests to have a Spanish origin and I believe that many misconceptions have been made to make that determination.  The breed standard calls for a short croup (fewer vertebrae) which places the tail up on top of the rump (an Arab type trait), rather than hanging off the end of the rump down low (a trait well known to be of Old Iberian origin through the influence of the Barb horses brought to Spain by the Moores).  The breed standard does call for a sloped croup and low set tail which is an oxymoron.  Can’t have both.  Concaved profiles on certain foundation stock , lack of elasticity in movement, croups with a broad defined iliac crest, straight stifles and many other non Iberian traits run a muck through the breed. However the breed does fall within its own type. It “was” a very versatile breed competing in many of the major disciplines mentioned above, yet it seems to be moving toward a sport horse or rather sport pony future as the breeders are choosing horses that move flat, long  somewhat stiff and round. Flat, long, stiff  are NOT  Iberian or Spanish traits.  In doing so they are changing the type of the breed.  Even those trying to breed toward an Iberian goal are ending up with fancy pony types who may have  a certain hip assembly or head profile, but the elegance and elasticity are gone.  Again altering the type which the breed has developed into by breeding for one or two traits.  What bothers me is the hype about being of Spanish origin then banking on it without the proper traits being present.  Most of the horses in the breed show draft (an original type), Arab/Oriental (an original type), and I must add pony (an original type).  The molding of these original types has created a very beautiful silhouette that many uninformed eyes refer to as Spanish. A few and I mean a very small percentage actually show the true Spanish type traits and those who do show the Sorraia traits to some degree.  The Sorraia being of primitive “type” and genetically featuring into the Old Iberian horse to some degree or another. Once upon a time a few horses emerged in the breed that looked like smaller version of Andalusians/Lusitanos, but that is becoming few and far between.

Since my passion is to breed toward the old Iberian type which was created from crossing Barb horses onto indigenous Iberian stock. I’m thinking that the Sorraia who’s traits are also of an original type, that being a very

(The Sorraia Horse)

primitive type, may have the power once crossed in the right combination’s with other specific animals with varying Iberian traits to bring back the horse of old in some degree.

Some degree.  Some degree…

A plan is formulating…  1/2 Sorraia 1/2 Colonial Spanish Mustang from the following groups, Spanish Mustang, Kiger, and Sulphur (with care taken to choose from certain traits and bloodlines).  Then a possible influence from one or two other programs out there that are trying to achieve the same goal. One being a Romero McKinley (Spanish Mustang) with a small  infusion of an Old traited Peruvian Paso.  Another is made up of a Lusitano base also infused with Old traited Peruvian blood.  The goal here is not to produce a breed of horse or recreate a breed, but to RECAPTURE A TYPE.  This type like the Quarter Horse should become mold-able for varied disciplines without losing its type, yet if left to breed on its own should revert back to its original form and hopefully if the origins are strong enough that type will be ideally of a primitive form.

(Animado (left)  Interessado ( right)  – primitive  Iberian “type” horses of Ravenseyrie)

Its a passion.  One being reborn with a great deal more education and much less reliance on others perceptions.  Age and life experiences bring wisdom.  Not that the wisdom I have now obtained will fortify me to reach the goal I have set.  But its a passion and dream and I intend to follow it.

(Lusitano)

Oh but how do I incorporate as many of my other passions as possible into this life I want to pursue?  Well in order to reach my goal I have to finance it which means I have to work and that work I have decided must include travel. I am interviewing with a micro distillery of an exotic rum product.  They are growing leaps and bounds and becoming established all over the world.  You can read an article about “them” or  rather, I am hoping soon to be “us” here: Edible San Juan Mountains 2010 thumb through the magazine or go straight to pages 16/17 for the article on Montanya Distillers.  YEAH!!

(Montanya Distillers tasting venue)

I’m on it!  So with that I see a future again… I see my passion breeding for the Old horse of Iberian traits…  incorporating my artistic skills in creating pieces to celebrate the beauty and elegance of that horse, travel with my job and take time to view other similar programs, maybe even write about what this journey unfolds. Who knows how many of my passions could be  explored from this meager beginning.

Now take a deep breath, charge past my fears and apprehensions, the advice of others, leaving the easy route behind me in a flash. Here I go!  Wish me luck!

Side Note: All horses are valuable, all are beautiful, all are worthy.  We choose our poison, I’m choosing mine.  For the Peruvian worriers regarding DSLD/ESPA the stock that is being chosen by the breeders of the Old Iberian horse traits projects are being  derived from animals that are between 20 and 28 years of age imported from Peru of the oldest bloodlines possible.  Animals of convexed head profiles and as close to the proper Old Iberian hip assembly as possible are being chosen from stock who have been used hard, bred hard, and are still sound at ripe old ages.   It appears from these breeders observations that the old Iberian traited horses are the predominant sound horses of all the aged Peruvians they have found. I believe this is a worthy task and I believe the breeders involved would send in samples to  Dr. Cothran to prove their lines clean when the opportunity arises to do so. These are the kind of breeders I want to align myself with.  Its called being responsible.

So on this journey I go, Thankful for the direction in my life or rather reunited with my direction of the past but better armed with a more reliable knowledge, an open mind, and great people “who get it” to share these passions with.

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RE-FINDING DIRECTION

(“Direction” – from John Curtin Gallery – by Nicole Slatter – 2008 oil on linen)

Well we are definitely  well into winter around here.  I have to say the snow is still  a powerful healing presence in  my life. I battle with it to get places or to stay dry or warm. But visually  and in some ways sensually it is very opening for that part of me that resides within myself.  I am still grappling with my idea of snow and what it conjures up in my mind.  I still find myself  saying that I don’t like snow, and I really do not like driving on mountain passes in blizzards.  But part of me really does like it – its healing and mystical presence in my life makes me feel cozy and complete inside.  Kinda how you feel when sitting on a river bank, or a mountain top, in a meadow or some other peaceful place of beauty.  Serene…

I feel serene here in Silverton in our wintry wonderland.  I just  have a difficult time seeing this as home. One of  this blogs readers commented on the last post Introspection – Walking The Red Road and brought me back to myself with her insight. See why I write my thoughts down here for all to read? You never know when some sweet spirit will come along to present a new world to journey through and investigate. Thank you My Shiloh Ranch for being that beautiful being in my life.  Your comment made me think past my emotions and desires to re-relate to my true self, I then set out to find other insights that would boost the power within me to be my true self in the face of my recent experiences. Another healing process I guess.

I came along this blog -  Allow Happiness and was pleased at how much beauty there is out there.  Allow Happiness shared a post listing their favorite blogs on happiness and I found them to be fabulous. So wanted to share them here with all of you.  The one in the the list that really spoke to my current situation is the Happiness Blog. Great stuff to think about.  So I am off of my recent introspection of how I got here and am back on what I am finding to be wonderful about being here.  I am also looking at the possibility that my ultimate happiness resides in a very different place  than what I have perceived or desired in the past.  When we think of what makes us happy, we have so many things to weigh that happiness against and those things come from our past as ideals or memories or experiences you want or do not want in your life at present.  Longings that you have nurtured, whether they are truly correct for your ultimate happiness or not. I’m going to do a little experiment on myself this winter. I am going to look to things that are new to me and unfamiliar and seek what within these odd to me things solicits joy from within me.  The first thing that comes to mind is bringing another greyhound in to my life.

(My Greyhound, Future  – 2004-2008 – in her favorite spot – How I miss her!)

Another is bringing Pro back home and getting back into the saddle making project.

(The Hope 1840′s saddle that I plan to build for Pro someday)

For just those two things to happen I am looking at another move and where is that to be?  I’m being pulled South. Toward Bayfield or Pagosa Springs or even Taos, New Mexico.  Taos would put me closer to the Spirits I crave to be close to.  It’s also a long way away from Heather, like 7 hours hours away from her.  There is a town an hour and fifteen minutes North of here called Ridgeway that might just be the ticket also.   The oddity to me here is that I have never considered Colorado a place I would permanently call home. It feels foreign to me to do so and I find myself searching elsewhere for that familiar homey feel.  But maybe I am home.  Maybe having horses in snow is a mystical magical beauty that my inner joy will abound with.  Maybe going camping near the Spirits will be my Church.  I don’t know yet. But I’m going to recreate my optimism for the adventure and see where I end up.

These are some of the things that bring instant sense of joy to me.

1) my horses on pastures

(found at: Western Open Edition Art Prints by Marye Roeser)

2) being near the Spirits

3) being near my daughter

4) my friends

5) being a free agent

6) being intimate with a/my lover

7) caring for and communing with my animal and plant friends

8 ) wearing pretty skirts

9) reading Terry Brooks Shannara books

10) eating breakfast outside

( I think I am going to go get me a breakfast and eat it outside to enjoy our beautiful white magical town)

11) being in control of my happiness

12) experiencing the most subtle beauties in any one moment.

13) creating (anything)

A lot of White Medicine I see here…

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Blahhh…   I’ve been sick for the past couple of days.  Seem to be getting over it though fairly quickly.  Which is good because I need to be working as much as possible the next week prior to my trip back to AZ.  Even in illness I find beauty.  Things like Pam sending over EmergenC and Heather making me soup – and how yummy it was too! I spent the whole day yesterday listening to tantra music and tribal belly dancing music. I love the primal feel of both and the images they conjure… the journeys they wisp you away on. So I spent an entire day journeying  to places only my mind can take me. It was nice to be so in tune with ME.

Only 8 more days and I’ll be visiting my bestest friend, Krissy in AZ.

(Here is Krissy with her best buddy Celt’s Kindlewood – or more lovingly known as Wooders)

She just had her second son and I am so looking forward to seeing her and both her boys.  Then I venture off to meet up with Ron, my old buddy from yesteryear, and someone with whom I am starting a new adventure with.  I’ll be visiting Rebecca also and maybe even Sheila while I’m there.

(There goes Rebecca riding Sophie, her paint mare, on one our trail rides)

I could use a good old fashioned Inipi (sweat), so maybe that’s in store for me too, along with a nice spa day.  Man cant ask for anymore than that. I am so excited.  I’m one lucky girl!

No…   I worked hard to get to this place… never will I forget those who passed, the battles I waged…  the losses… the gains…  the people who stood beside me…  the ones left behind, and those present in my life today…  all that has culminated in who I  have become.

One lucky girl.

Isn’t life wonderful!!

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Something amazing has happened this past week.  I am so excited about it I can hardly contain myself.  Sometimes we step back and take a good look around, just to reset our bearings.  I’ve been in this process for sometime now  simplifying my life, healing old wounds, and immersed in new and exciting adventures.  I love stepping back and gazing upon all there is – taking in the awe of it. Feeling the awesomeness of it all.

It? What is that?

Whatever lays before you, could be physically – the landscape – the home – the family or a friend – whatever. It could be something you feel and has no words for its description.  I have that going on right now with Ron my friend in Arizona.  The feel of having him back as my friend is wonderful.  While the lay of land before me causes me to gasp at its primal beauty, well just read a few posts back and you’ll know what I mean.  Whether in the desert or the alpine mountains or near shoreline, Earth speaks to me in so many beautiful ways.  My family and friends, new and old?  Oh My God!  Am I ever the most lucky person in the world to have such wonderful people surrounding me. Observing these things brings new stimulus for me to ponder and absorb.

You know what? I’m in love…

In love with my mother the Earth, my friends and family, the feelings that serge through me.  Spirit!

…back to my exciting realization…

I want to go riding!  I WANT TO GO RIDING!!  I want my horse back home and I want to go spend my time with him!  It’s genuine, brings tears to my eyes!

(Pro in 2009 – otherwise known as Celt’s Prophecy, as a yearling trying on a saddle for fun. Don’t worry the saddle had no cinch and only weighs 30 lbs.)

Ron, I want you to know something.  The day we reconnected I made a decision to bring my colt back home next summer.  I committed to him. Something in reconnecting with you reconnected me with my passion and with Pro.  All of a sudden yesterday comes along and I’m yearning to feel the weight of my saddle in my arms, smell the leather, and Pro’s flesh…    now I’m biting at the bit to get to him and sit WITH him…   bond.  I would love it if someday you and I could take our horses for a week long or more trip into the wilderness and bond with our Mother and our companions and one another.

I’m back!  I want to go riding!

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Mar 5, 2010

Well I skipped last Thursday’s Thankful Thursday.  The day just got away from me.  By the time I got around to thinking on gratitude I was drained and brain dead.  I just  thought for a few moments on all the things I had to be grateful for and hit the sack feeling bountiful.

Today, I’m feeling pretty drained again but do not have any jobs to do. A day off!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!!  Ha!  Like I don’t get enough days off…   I just seem to need this day to recoup. Thursday has become my Sunday. The day I reflect, and express, and rest, and heal.

Those of you who follow me on twitter and facebook already know that Celt’s Prophecy will be coming home.

Celt’s Prohecy (Pro) at 1 year in Arizona

Not sure when this will take place, but its definite.   Lots of details to work out but I am anxious. I must say after having to leave him behind and struggling through his mothers disease and death, after trying to leave it all behind, I am so thankful that Pro is coming home. I guess I made my own destiny when I started some 11 years ago to produce this colt. I thought I was working on the future of the Spanish Mustang breed. Seems though I was working on my future with one special horse. Instead of improving the breed, Pro has served to improve who I am and who I will become.

Short synopsis:

I bred quality Spanish Mustangs, individuals that many people admired. I saw a decline in a certain type and quality with in the breed and set out to do something about it. In the process and due to decisions I lost all but one of  my founding stock. A mare named Celt’s Kindlewood.

(Celt’s Kindlewood 3 months before being put down due to DSLD/ESPA complications)

She actually belonged to my daughter Heather and I  watch sentinel over the mare. Having done all the right things, allowing her to mature to 5 years before riding her, training her slowly over her entire lifetime, became one with her, giving her the best care. finding the right stallion to breed her to and acquiring him having negotiated for two years on related stock and waiting for his arrival for an additional year.  All very carefully executed. Having done all the right things its comes down to a colt who was to carry the torch.  Celt’s Prophecy – not the end result but the beginning of the future. A colt who will be gelded and become a backyard buddy. Why you ask?  Because after all that, Kindlewood came down with DSLD/ESPA, a degenerative systemic disease believed to be inherited.   DSLD/ESPA (video of the diesese) sometimes never raises its ugly head, or not until a horse is aged. However, sometimes it takes young horses by surprise. It took Kindlewood at age eight.  All my plans went out the window because I cannot allow my horses to pass this horrible painful disease into the breed.  I’m convinced that the breed already has its share of the disease floating through its DNA as does most all modern breeds and there is no way to test for it at this time to be sure.  It’s just safer to geld Pro, hope that he stays sound, and hope that others who discover the disease in their bloodlines will do the same with their breeding stock.

Kindlewood died Halloween of 2008 as an eight your old  mother of  the future.  Irony,  “Future”,  my greyhound died two weeks later.

Kathy Freymiller of Kickapoo Center Farm graciously took Pro from me to help me out.  I just was not able to bring him to Colorado with me. I had exhausted my resources trying to save his mother and was now in debt over my head. I thought Pro was gone for certain and my horse days were gone with him.  Then…

I get an email from Kathy, and my life has taken another turn. Just like that! Snap your fingers Pro comes home and things are different than they ever would have been.

Reborn…I seem to be reborn every few months lately.  Horses are back… but this time in a very different way. More like it was when I was a child with Chiefy, my gelding companion while I was growing up.  Pro and I will explore life’s gifts together. I get a second chance to  grow up. Only this time I have the wisdom to not “quite” grow up…

My old best friend Asad, during my grown up days, and his grandson Prophecy my new childhood cohort.  I promise we will be into all kinds of mischief. I promise not to grow up.

My senses are completely overwhelmed with gratitude.  I have been so humbled, I am so humble. Thank you from the very depths of my soul!

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I promised hot cowboys, fast horses, and top notch ski talent in this post well here you go…

I want to take him home.

Warming up for the races while the morning snow falls.

More warm ups…  right in front of the Stellar Bakery and Pizzeria

On looker Mike G. one of our towns acclaimed musicians. He’ll be playing at the Velvet Lounge (in the Villa Dallavalle) tonight. You should drop in and put in a request for some Buddy Holly.

Happy mom’s pulling happier children in toboggans.

The races are on!  The horses seemed to love the run too!

And I mean they ran!  This was one very VERY fast horse!

Setting up for the last jump!

Pam (on right) and her good friend Diane watch as a team rushes by! Pam is my friend who runs the  Villa Dallavalle Bed and Breakfast and Velvet Lounge.  For you Twitter folks you can find Pam and the Villa Dallavalle B&B at ( @VillaDallvalle ).

Our handsome cowboy and his steed streaking up Blair Street while skier literally  flies through the air right in front of the VillaDallavalle Bed and Breakfast.

And another competitor puts in his bid on the last jump.

One of  Heathers best friends, Audry came to town to watch the event.

And Audry’s husband Kyle, one of our volunteer Fire Fighters!

End of the day, another handsome cowboy cooling down his horses right along Green Street!

And in case you didn’t get enough of that handsome cowboy dude in the beginning of the  post…

Sigh…..

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