Thursday, 28. October 2010 14:16
The other night I was asked a question about whether or not I would return to Arizona. That question was qualified with “you love where you are“, and it is true I do love Silverton. I love things about Silverton and I do intend on keeping my room here. However from the beginning the reason for moving here was to be closer to Heather and the original plan was to move somewhere close by where I could have my horse more comfortably. I’ve been thinking of Bayfield or Ridgeway, both of which would provide more work. Bayfield is about two hours away and Ridgeway about an hour and a half. So Silverton was never meant to be my “home“. What I love about this community is the old town buildings, the sense of living in the wilderness, a good many of the people. What I don’t like about it, is that most of those shops close up for the winter, a lot of bickering goes on in town that you cant escape from. I miss a swimming pool, I really am not fond of having to bundle up every time I go outside. Opportunity has sprang up from this move and the lifestyle I have adopted and I love that part about living here.
When I think about it, Arizona has always been my first love, I never really wanted to leave her. What I wanted was to move to a cooler climate as in maybe Payson, but the drive to get closer to Heather had me looking at Show Low, Arizona, and places in New Mexico, and if you have followed this blog for any length of time you may have noticed that the trend then moved up to Mancos with the final destination, a last minute decision, being Silverton. Moving here was a logistic move and a financial one. It turned out to be a healing experience. I have found beauty here in amazing bounty. But I do not find that Sultann Mountain or Kendall Mountain are more beautiful or awesome than the Superstition Mountains. The Sup’s, they were my home for 16 years. I miss the Sup’s. What I don’t miss is the smog, the cars, the people. Those things bring tears to my eyes and thus unhappiness when I think of how they have overrun the home I loved for so long.
Would I ever return to Arizona… maybe. I find beauty wherever I am. I think that if my life’s unfulfilled needs, those things I am researching about myself and for my peace, pleasure and well being, were to be bulstered or brought to fruition by a move back to AZ, I would go.
I am certain that Heather will feel threatened by this knowledge. The responsibility toward her heart’s feelings weighs heavy upon my own heart. So if I ever took that journey regardless of where it might take me it would be with her in mind. I would keep my room and remain present in her life. Now Heather, don’t get all panicky, nothing is happening. I am not planning a move. I am quite content right here. I do have a future laying itself out before me though, and if it takes that turn, I may move. Nothing is written in stone in life. Everything is always swirling around like a pool of water and could change at any moment. I am the type of person who likes to move with the water and see what lays upon the shore just a little farther down stream. Which is how I viewed coming to Silverton and how I viewed moving to Arizona so many years ago. Like another friend suggested today, I tend to be a bit of fish that way. Swimming with the current…
Look at me! I’m a neon fish. I cant wait to see where this new life of mine takes me next. Like Jonathan Livingston Seagull… in the water or upon the wind… it really doesn’t matter. All I want to do is to continue exploring this kingdom called life with all the gusto I can manage. I am so lucky to be in a place where I can venture wherever my heart takes me if I so choose. To celebrate my life in all of its completeness.
A celebration for which I am so grateful for.
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