Tuesday, 30. November 2010 10:29
(“Direction” – from John Curtin Gallery – by Nicole Slatter – 2008 oil on linen)
Well we are definitely well into winter around here. I have to say the snow is still a powerful healing presence in my life. I battle with it to get places or to stay dry or warm. But visually and in some ways sensually it is very opening for that part of me that resides within myself. I am still grappling with my idea of snow and what it conjures up in my mind. I still find myself saying that I don’t like snow, and I really do not like driving on mountain passes in blizzards. But part of me really does like it – its healing and mystical presence in my life makes me feel cozy and complete inside. Kinda how you feel when sitting on a river bank, or a mountain top, in a meadow or some other peaceful place of beauty. Serene…
I feel serene here in Silverton in our wintry wonderland. I just have a difficult time seeing this as home. One of this blogs readers commented on the last post Introspection – Walking The Red Road and brought me back to myself with her insight. See why I write my thoughts down here for all to read? You never know when some sweet spirit will come along to present a new world to journey through and investigate. Thank you My Shiloh Ranch for being that beautiful being in my life. Your comment made me think past my emotions and desires to re-relate to my true self, I then set out to find other insights that would boost the power within me to be my true self in the face of my recent experiences. Another healing process I guess.
I came along this blog - Allow Happiness and was pleased at how much beauty there is out there. Allow Happiness shared a post listing their favorite blogs on happiness and I found them to be fabulous. So wanted to share them here with all of you. The one in the the list that really spoke to my current situation is the Happiness Blog. Great stuff to think about. So I am off of my recent introspection of how I got here and am back on what I am finding to be wonderful about being here. I am also looking at the possibility that my ultimate happiness resides in a very different place than what I have perceived or desired in the past. When we think of what makes us happy, we have so many things to weigh that happiness against and those things come from our past as ideals or memories or experiences you want or do not want in your life at present. Longings that you have nurtured, whether they are truly correct for your ultimate happiness or not. I’m going to do a little experiment on myself this winter. I am going to look to things that are new to me and unfamiliar and seek what within these odd to me things solicits joy from within me. The first thing that comes to mind is bringing another greyhound in to my life.
(My Greyhound, Future – 2004-2008 – in her favorite spot – How I miss her!)
Another is bringing Pro back home and getting back into the saddle making project.
(The Hope 1840′s saddle that I plan to build for Pro someday)
For just those two things to happen I am looking at another move and where is that to be? I’m being pulled South. Toward Bayfield or Pagosa Springs or even Taos, New Mexico. Taos would put me closer to the Spirits I crave to be close to. It’s also a long way away from Heather, like 7 hours hours away from her. There is a town an hour and fifteen minutes North of here called Ridgeway that might just be the ticket also. The oddity to me here is that I have never considered Colorado a place I would permanently call home. It feels foreign to me to do so and I find myself searching elsewhere for that familiar homey feel. But maybe I am home. Maybe having horses in snow is a mystical magical beauty that my inner joy will abound with. Maybe going camping near the Spirits will be my Church. I don’t know yet. But I’m going to recreate my optimism for the adventure and see where I end up.
These are some of the things that bring instant sense of joy to me.
1) my horses on pastures
(found at: Western Open Edition Art Prints by Marye Roeser)
2) being near the Spirits
3) being near my daughter
4) my friends
5) being a free agent
6) being intimate with a/my lover
7) caring for and communing with my animal and plant friends
8 ) wearing pretty skirts
9) reading Terry Brooks Shannara books
10) eating breakfast outside
( I think I am going to go get me a breakfast and eat it outside to enjoy our beautiful white magical town)
11) being in control of my happiness
12) experiencing the most subtle beauties in any one moment.
13) creating (anything)
A lot of White Medicine I see here…
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