I am toiling with a very difficult decision.  Seems the past two years have been marked with decisions that I didn’t want to make except of course for moving to Colorado.  That’s a good decision.  The one I am toiling with now is not so good. It has its pros and cons as most decisions do.

Growing up as I did the daughter of a successful American Kennel Club breeder and Judge set the stage for my breeder mentality. Not sure how much of that is inherited or just a learned behavior. Probably the latter.  Inheritantly I am creative in every way; art, crafts, breeding, research, buying and selling, barter, internet, even watching movies and TV it must have some form of creativity that speaks to me or I’m outta there.  I spend more time studying how they made the affect or how the actor/actress presented his/her line than paying attention to the story.

Breeding has taken the creative place of my artwork. breeding is a much slower process with horses than a piece of art, well generally speaking.  And with breeding you never in your life time see the true results from your efforts.  You sculpt out bits and pieces of the vision, or mearly endeavor to retain the foundations of what you have.  Either is a creative process or a give and take and mold. 

I have thought to take my breeding vision to bronze, or clay and breed from the foundations forward creating slowly over time a line of horses incorporating what knowledge is acquired in the flesh and blood breeding world in order to end up with an anatomically viable end result.  Incorporating kindness of eye with grace, poise and energy, and that with talent, ability and will.  Not forgetting a good dose of humor. Okay to sculpt costs almost as much as breeding a live horse.  Time or lack of time to move forward in a living breeding program is one of the factors which is bringing me to the decision to stop breeding live horses.  To sculpt the learning process takes time, and where is the income coming from?  Would I actually sell my sculpted breeding stock?  The legacy?  At least I would not have to feed them, trim hooves, worm and inoculate, exercise and groom.  What would they give back? Would I be good enough to produce what is in my minds eye?

Okay so maybe not a sculptor, I should probably leave that to Simrat Khalsa’s Fine Art and Photography.  Maybe a saddle builder, or an e-book host, or producer of organic goods or shrimp farming.  All of which speak to me.  Teaching Paisano to Garrocha, and Prophecy too.  These definitely appeal to me. Along with hours of riding in the saddle and travel.  If I am going to do any of these other creative endeavors I need to stop the out flow of dollars that go into my horses. I need to settle down turn my focus away from breeding “Spanish”  Spanish Mustangs of beautiful multi-gaited specialty to maybe just getting good with one or two horses in the styles of riding I love to do putting more of my dollars into other creative  dollar earning projects.

The only way I am going to break away from the breeding of these fine horses is to remove myself from the organizations who promote them.  I’m afraid after the SMR meeting this year that I may discontinue my active participation.  It’s looking like self preservation here. 

I must geld Pro.  He is my last link to breeding toward that life time goal. He should never be bred, but I find myself tempted.  I was even challenged recently by the Creator himself offering me a gorgeous filly whom I immediately had bred to Pro in my minds eye.  Many times I go back and forth about Theory breeding her to Pro too. Neither horse should be bred.  No matter how good they are. They both have the ability to pass on issues that need to be stopped short of being passed on. They both could be dynamic show horses and ambassadors of the breed just as they are.

I want so badly to see how my breeding project that produced Pro will mature out as a stallion and then produce.  I want to see that crested neck and deep noble presence that will surely emerge in a few years.  I am afraid I will have to miss that and learn to not yearn for it. I will have to find comfort in knowing that I once had that magnificent stallion, one of the best the breed has seen.  I had a very special relationship with him and that will never be replaced. 

Part of this process is financial.  And for Prophecy’s own good.  He will be a much happier young man if he can run and play.  Moving to Colorado promises to have him couped up away from other horses if I find that I have to board him. He is just a baby and needs to run and play and socialize. If he has to be boarded in Colorado that promises to be a $600.00 per month out go of funds.  I am having to get very picky and careful here. When I move to Colorado I won’t have a job.  If Pro is gelded soon, and the filly factor removed, in another four months I could possibly be able to slowly introduce Pai and Pro together in a pasture situation. Saving bunches of cash and keeping both of them mentally and physically healthy. 

I’ll be spending much of my time with my daughter as well as seeking work and a place for me and my horses to live.  The plan was to use the summer as a good respite on pasture for the boys and the up coming winter for small training sessions readying, when the weather allows, Pai for Garrocha training and Pro for long line training. 

The difficult part of this is making the phone call to have Pro gelded and to know I’ll never see the maginifcent stallion he promises to be emerge. 

Some rough snaps taken today March 2nd, 2009.