Thankful Thursday

No pictures today folks, today you create your own.

Today I celebrate the difficulties in life.  I am thankful for difficulties in all their masks because they create a defined atmosphere from which emerges the truly abundant things in  life.

Last night I was giving one of my clients a massage when we embarked upon a somato emotional journey into one relationship that defines us all.  At one point she poured out more than she had planned and was a bit surprised at how freely her feelings spilled over.  It was a sign of her trust in me.  I am so thankful that she and other’s feel safe with me. What an incredible gift that is.  What more could anyone need in life than the trust given freely from another.

We discussed how to break free from some painful traps.  Why is it for some the chains that bind appear to simply fall away while for others they seem to tighten with every attempt to free oneself from them?  I have learned that it is a frame of mind.  I discovered something huge last night.  

A few years back while my mother was struggling to live the last of her life, I chose to make my life about her.  I genuinely wanted and fiercely intended for her to live out the remainder of ”HER” life in the way “SHE” wanted to. If that meant smoking herself to death, then damn it it was her choice. I hated it, I have strong opinion about people self destructing.  But some do, and they know they are self destructing.  They know they have played their part in building walls between family members, or are breaking hearts by not changing life threatening habits.  But in the end its their life to live.  I chose to set aside my “OPINION”, and set forth to make her life all that she could muster it to be.  We both chose to set aside our differences (we had many), and chose to help each other help her live out the remainder of her life which turned out to be a little over a year.   I didn’t do it for me, for my salvation. It wasn’t about me. I was all about her.  My life would go on. 

When sharing pain filled experiences with my client it became obvious to me that that decision freed me and I have no regrets, and I have no harboured anger for past incidences and realize that in reality that those incidences are just humans being human.  My relationship with my mother was completely healed and fulfilled.  My shackles fell away.  Not only am I thankful for that, I am thankful for my clients out pouring and for her sharing the atmosphere in which she dwells in with me.  The contrast to my own reality made me wholeheartedly thankful for my own challenges in life. For my specific choices in life.  I chose to love, protect, and serve not for what they do for me, but for what they do for others.

For this I am thankful.

…..   oh yes I will find more to be thankful for today.

This may pale in the face of what was written above, yet I believe that it is every bit as important to acknowledge and express gratitude for it.  This is March, we were facing 90 degree weather at least one and generally two months early.  We had an explosion of flies that appear to be an inferno of black buzzing nastiness around the horses.  How was I ever to fight off such a swarm?  I hate using the 12 day drops as they can cause the horse to have skin irritations when mixed with our extreme temperatures, but that is all that would work.  Thankfully  the weather has turned cooler again and we are facing rain.  Oh Yikes!  Did I even remotely suggest thankfulness for rain?  That means ungodly mud again.  For this I am thankful.  I’ll have to buy more of that 12 day poison to put on my horses when it passes, but the rains have brought us another week of respite from fly misery.

And at least one more thing to be thankful for.  The awakening in life.

I am thankful for Thankful Thursday. It has changed my life. It has guided me down a path of observations.  Touching things I would never have touched before. Really looking at things I would never have noticed before. Feeling things inside and out, I mean really feeling them, exploring them in all the ways that are present to me at that moment. Knowing that sole experience is intended for me.  Breathing in the essence of tangible and intangible things to fully experience them.  This has been the most healing and exciting exploration of life of which I have embarked on thus far. In the truest sense of myself I am an adventurous girl, the butterfly girl who skips in the meadow in my soft cotton summer dress with complete abound picking flowers and talking to butterflies.  Bare foot. Seeing deeply into the reflection of life absorbing all life’s wonders and overflowing them back out onto the world carrying a piece of me with it.   Seeing all possibilities, having no fear, racing swiftly to meet life head on. Thankful Thursday has brought me home to myself.  I have been trying to find the path back for years now to this most intimate part of myself.  Through being thankful for the simplest of things and truly observing life, I have found my path.

Thank you  Thankful Thursday!

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